Let me set the scene for you: I was at a wedding in Florence, sipping my well-earned cocktail, when one of the bridesmaids:who was, by the way, one Aperol Spritz away from delivering a TED Talk:pulled me aside.

“Stefano,” she said, gripping my arm like I was the last life raft on the Titanic. “You HAVE to hear what happened to my best friend at her wedding last year. It was in Venice. It was stunning. It was also a slow-motion train wreck from start to finish.”

Now, I live for a good wedding disaster story (for educational purposes, obviously), so I braced myself. And let me tell you:this was no ordinary “oops, the cake was the wrong flavor” kind of disaster. This was a full-on, cinematic, should-have-been-a-movie level catastrophe. If you’re planning a destination wedding, consider this your cautionary tale.

Buckle up. It’s going to be a wild ride.

Step One: Book a Cheap Water Taxi. What Could Go Wrong?

So, the bride (let’s call her Sarah, because honestly, she’s been through enough) had always dreamed of a wedding in Venice. She wanted to arrive at the church in a classic wooden speedboat, the kind that makes you feel like a Bond girl and costs approximately the same as a small yacht. But Sarah, being the resourceful bride she was, decided to cut costs and book a budget-friendly water taxi instead.

Big. Mistake.

The morning of the wedding, Sarah, in her full princess gown, is waiting at the dock with her dad. The “budget-friendly” boat arrives, and let’s just say… it looked like it had seen some things. I’m talking chipped paint, an engine that coughed like a 90-year-old smoker, and a driver who seemed completely unfazed by the level of panic happening on the dock.

Still, Sarah was determined. A boat is a boat, she told herself. How bad could it be?

Well.

The moment she stepped in, the boat lurched. Her dad lost his balance, grabbed onto her, and the next thing you know, Sarah was flailing like a Disney princess mid-musical number:except instead of gracefully falling into the arms of Prince Charming, she fell directly onto the deck. Face-first. Veil flying. Dress absorbing every ounce of canal water.

A few tourists actually clapped.

But the best part? The driver, without even turning around, simply muttered, “Ah, happens a lot.”

Step Two: Ignore the Forecast. Venice Weather is Always Romantic, Right?

After surviving the most humiliating water taxi ride of all time (and using 37 napkins to pat-dry herself), Sarah arrived at the church. Barefoot. Because, surprise! Her heels had been sacrificed to the Venetian lagoon.

But she had made it. She was here. It was happening.

And then, as the doors opened for her big entrance… it started raining.

Not a soft, cinematic drizzle that makes everything look moody and romantic. No, this was biblical. Thunder, lightning, the kind of downpour that makes gondoliers give up and paddle home.

At this point, Sarah just screamed-laughed. The priest:who, according to the bridesmaid, had the exact expression of a man questioning every life decision he had ever made:proceeded as if this was all totally normal.

But the real kicker? One of the groomsmen had bet that it wouldn’t rain and was still loudly insisting, “It’s just passing through!” as Sarah’s mascara dissolved into her champagne.

Step Three: Trust Your Wedding Planner (Or, You Know… Hire One in the First Place)

Oh, did I forget to mention? Sarah, in all her wedding wisdom, had decided to DIY her destination wedding.

“Planners are so expensive,” she had said. “How hard can it be? I’ll just email everyone!”

Sweet. Summer. Child.

Because, of course, when they arrived at the reception, they discovered that the caterers had gotten the wrong date. The venue was locked. The staff was gone. And Sarah, still damp and now starving, was just standing in the middle of a Venetian alley in full bridal gear, whispering, “This is fine.”

Her mother, the true hero of this story, took charge and did what any rational woman would do in this situation:she flagged down a waiter at the nearest restaurant, pointed at her daughter’s drenched dress, and said, “You. Pasta. Now.”

And that’s how Sarah’s dream wedding dinner was spent in the back corner of a random trattoria, eating spaghetti alle vongole off a plastic plate, while tourists took pictures and asked if this was some kind of elopement package.

The Moral of the Story: Learn From Sarah’s Pain

As the bridesmaid finished her story, she leaned in, deadly serious. “Stefano. Please. Tell your brides to hire. A. Planner.”

And honestly? She’s not wrong.

If you’re planning a destination wedding, learn from Sarah’s glorious disaster:

✅ Hire trusted vendors. The cheapest option isn’t always your friend.
✅ Check the weather. No, seriously. Check it twice.
✅ Book professionals who actually know Venice. Because the wrong water taxi could literally sink your day.
✅ Most importantly: Get a wedding planner. Unless you want to end up eating emergency pasta in a soaked dress while strangers ask if you’re part of a new reality show.

At the end of the day, Sarah’s wedding was unforgettable… just not in the way she had imagined.

And if this story made you clutch your pearls in horror? Don’t worry:I know the right people to make sure this never happens to you.